The 8th anniversary of daddy's departure

15th March

Every year, this date coming up,
lots of memory and feelings are going around in my head.

8 years have passed since my dad passed away.

Even now,
I clearly remember this day 8 years ago.

Almost everyday, I visited hospital after i was told my father was in the final stage of cancer in mid- Feb.
At that time, 'father' was a taboo in front of my mammy after their devorce
and as such i secretly met my daddy.

But on the previous day,
my sis and i wrote a letter to mom to tell the truth
because it was better for her to know it.
Next morning,
when i got up, my mom came to me and said
"You need mourning clothes, so let's go shopping today."
And we decded to meet at a station early in the evening.

Before that,
I went to a park near my home and got a branch of early-flowering cherry blossoms.
My father told me that spring was his favorite season,
then i wanted to show him something spring.

I met my mom and she bought me proper clothes.
I had decided to go direct to hospital after i met her.
So before i left, i asked my mom to come with me.
But she said "no".

Without her, i got to the hospital.
I talked to my dad to show the cherry flowers.
He became bedridden a few days ago
and on that day, it took a few seconds before he responded.
He was no longer able to sit up, to say a word.
So we communicated only by eyes.

I was going to stay overnight with my dad
so i changed my clothes into easy ones.
I decided to get some food and turned toward the door,
but i stopped to get out of his room, somehow.
Then i sat by my daddy.

After a while,
I heard footsteps approaching and some nurses run into our room.

For a second,
I didn't know what was happening.
Nurses loudly called out to my father and shook his body repeatedly.
Hearing their saying, "please call his family members",
I finally realized my father was in the very final moment.

"I need to call my sis right now..."
I took my cellphone but i dropped it because my hands were trembling.
I couldn't quite manage to do it
so a nurse asked me
"Are you ok ?? Can you do that ?? May i help ??"
There was no time to regain my senses
but i finally made it and called her.

After that,
I did my best not to let my father go before my sis arrived.
I held his hand and shouted out
"DADDY, DADDY, DADDY..."

My uncles family arrived.
And i called my sis in my heart,
"Sis, hurry up!! Come on!! Come on!!"

I shouted too much and i nearly lost myself
then i saw my sis coming into the room.
I lost my strength.
After that, i just cried on and on.

After a while,
a docter tolt us my father had already gone.
We didn't know the very moment because we kept looking at each other.

His body was so hot.
Even after a certain of time passed, he was still hot.

We left the room for his preparation to go home.
My nose was stuffed up and i couldn't breathe easily.

When we got home with him, the date changed.
I was so exhausted but couldn't sleep.
Then a warm, big hand gently patted my head
and i fell into a deep sleep.
It seemed …as if my father told me
""Good job MK, have a nice sleep."

8 years passed.
I have been "good girl" since then and from now on.
Tonight, i burn incense for you, dad.